|Dec. 18th, 2006 01:15 pm venting9 comments - Leave a comment |
|Date:||December 24th, 2006 07:18 pm (UTC)|| |
nothing's all right...
no, you won't care when i die.
you'll probably laugh and say "hah, that idiot who thought i actually cared is gone."
i cried so much last night. i almost hurt myself really bad. i missed you a lot. i was thinking about the good qualities you have and missed them. i missed how you were when we first met. when i didn't know ho much you lied.
i would talk to you...but i thought about it as i almost fucked myself up...i don't hate myself, really. i just hate that i was so easily manipulated and did so many people wrong and let myself be influenced SO much.
but what it comes down to is: i can't trust you. you say you've changed over and over...but in the end you prove that you really haven't changed much. you are still lying to people. still vindictive. maybe you don't even realize it. i want to believe that. i want to believe that you don't realize that your motives are really fucked up. but even if that's true, it doesn't take away how much things hurt.
so, it's probably better that i just forget you.